gibberish

i have called this gibberish because it is, it has to be. after all how long can one say they are gonna change, gonna do something different: good - bad - otherwise? how many times truly and not do it?????

i have so many great things in my life, still many things too that i could make greater, i touch so many lives but do not make them better? i offer the foundation of hope but never establish the stone of faith realized by advancing on that hope.

gibberish. me i am gibberish and i speak gibberish too often and still i have many blessing, fortunes, and still many opportunities to transcend from gibberish into the world of trustworthy of dependent, of a next phase called security (or something more eloquent). it is like i am trying to go up a down escalator, one step after another the foot is raised and placed but the body doesn't move.

i hear but don't listen, i think but don't initiate, i plan and don't act - this is not a rant of pity (well perhaps a little) but it is a warning to all those who know me, you would be better knowing someone else, investing your time elsewhere. some where else you will find that the emptiness of your hope is filled - the elevator actually opens on a new floor than that which you hopped on, as opposed to opening on the same floor, again and again and again and again and again