too long gone

asleep, lazy, uninspired, unmotivated, recently I read a quote that said something to the effect of: "if you want to live your dream, the first thing you have to do is wakeup." I will search out the source of this little gem. There really seems to be two answers to this type of insight, one of them isn't WTF. They are 'that makes so much sense, but why is that so hard' or 'its not that simple'.

I am here to tell you that those statements of denial, while fair, don't get a person anywhere. The statement is a true observation. Even for myself, I have been awaken from my deep sleep into slumber recently, well perhaps not that recently, it was 9 months ago. That has made me think, made me wonder so many things: what am I doing, why do I do the things I do, what do I enjoy doing with my time, how do I change what I am doing, do I understand the value of time, what am I doing with my time, who is important to me, do I treat them as if they are, what do I have to offer to society, what am I contributing to society... and so on and so on.

Up until that day I was too long gone asleep, into the bomb shelter I went and now I have stood at the door of that shelter (being only my own mind, I was never safe from any bomb there)

So now half awake
stepping beyond the dismissal statement of
"its not that simple" I ask:
is it true that 'you are either purpose driven or driven by purpose'

(which sounds like a corporate way of saying the first thing you have to do is wakeup; yes take a cognitive control over what you are doing in your life and quit looking to, or blaming, others - translation: 'wakeup')

So what has been my purpose to date, did I ever have my own, or did necessity dictate them, did other people's drive me where I didn't intend to go. life may start with the questions, but its really the answers that make it exciting or at least interesting.

It reminds me of the chapter books I read as a kid where you could make a decision at the end of a chapter on what the characters did next. Your story would take on its own turn and by the end there was several ways you may have gotten to a certain end. I suppose I didn't truly understand what insight into life that book was providing me 'til now. What a shame - though its not too late to benefit from that knowledge.